Strength Looks Different Here
When I was first diagnosed, I thought strength meant pushing through. Showing up no matter what. Smiling when it hurts. Pretending I was okay even when I wasn’t.
But over time I realized that kind of strength was exhausting. It wasn’t sustainable. And it wasn’t honest.
I had to unlearn the idea that being strong meant being invincible. That strength was about doing everything, all the time, like nothing had changed.
Real strength, I’ve learned, looks like:
Listening to your body and saying “no” when you need to
Resting without guilt
Asking for help
Taking care of yourself, even when no one sees it
Allowing yourself to feel it all—grief, frustration, hope, and joy
Being a spoonie means having to make choices that most people never think twice about. Some days, brushing your hair, going to work, and making a meal all compete for the same limited energy. That in itself is strength. Learning to use your “spoons” wisely and with compassion is a kind of resilience no one talks about, but it’s real.
Some of the strongest things I’ve ever done have happened quietly. Getting out of bed on a hard day. Advocating for myself at a doctor’s appointment. Telling someone the truth when they asked how I was really doing.
These moments don’t always look strong to the outside world, but they’ve shaped me more than anything.
To anyone living with a chronic illness, your strength is valid. Whether you’re thriving or just surviving right now, it still counts. You don’t have to prove it to anyone.
You’re allowed to be strong and struggling at the same time.
Working at a nonprofit that supports children like me feels deeply personal because I’ve been the kid in the hospital bed, the teen carrying silent pain, the one unsure of what the future would hold. Now I get to help create the kind of support I once needed. That’s the kind of full circle I never saw coming and one I’ll never take for granted.
Resources:
https://www.thecenterforchronicillness.org/resources
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/4062-chronic-illness
https://www.caringbridge.org/