Honoring Loved Ones: Meaningful Ways to Remember

The holiday season often carries the weight of nostalgia permeating our surroundings through media, commercials, and gift giving. Navigating this can be one of the most challenging aspects about enduring the holiday season. Knowing you are not alone in confronting nostalgia and loss is crucial; you are a part of a vast community who struggle to get through the holiday season. 

Approaching Traditions and Rituals:
Traditions and rituals, often intertwined with nostalgia, can pose a daunting challenge. This week, we aim to provide you with ideas and support as you navigate the delicate terrain of holiday traditions and rituals.

Remember this: You have the right to choose what works for you. As media and conversation swirl around us, it can cloud our own thought process, sometimes causing us to feel like either we “have to” do things the same or discard them altogether. However, this process is fluid, allowing you the freedom to adapt aspects of traditions while retaining what holds meaning for you. 

For example, you might choose to preserve certain elements of your traditions while altering others, such as changing the location where they occur. This flexibility is a key aspect of decision making as you navigate the holiday season.

Embracing Change with Intention:
It is okay to change as much or as little as you would like including the decorations, the menu, the time of meal, the ceremonies you engage in, or going away for the holidays. There are no rigid rules; you are not locked in or stuck. The decisions are yours to make. 

Zooming out, consider ways which you might want to honor your loved one and include them in the day, a process unique to each individual’s healing journey. Some may find solace in maintaining old traditions, while others may prefer to consider new ones that ground them in the present moment. It’s not uncommon for many to find themselves choosing both – upholding some old traditions while welcoming new ones.

• Creating New Traditions:

  • Lighting a remembrance candle

  • Reading a meaningful poem or song lyrics

  • Participating in a new activity

Remember, incorporating new ideas doesn’t erase old memories. The two can coexist simultaneously. 

• Maintaining Old Traditions:

  • Participating in specific activities that were shared with your loved one

  • Listening to a specific song or watching a beloved movie 

  • Cooking or baking a favorite holiday meal of theirs 

Being intentional and mindful around meaningful ways to navigate the holidays is supported by psychological research. As the study by Bluck and Mroz (2017) emphasizes, “remembering is a primary way for our relationships to be sustained once a loved one dies.” By memorializing a loved one during the holidays, we not only honor their memory but also nurture our healing journey in our own lives.